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A week after welcoming five-year-old Rodney to his foster home, the caregiver called and asked that he be moved. “I have to continuously tell him not to play with the remote for the TV. He doesn’t listen. I can’t abide by a child in my home not doing what he’s told. This isn’t going to work.”
For children who have already experienced loss and uncertainty, placement moves carry a weight that is hard to overstate. Each disruption can affect a child’s mental health, behavior, education, sense of attachment, and path to permanency. Perhaps most painfully, disruptions can reinforce what many of these children already fear—that they are the reason they can’t stay.
Too often, disruptions happen that might have been avoided with a little more time, communication, support, resources, or breathing room.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, these questions may help bring some clarity before making a final decision:
- Is there a safety issue that puts the child or family at risk?
- Is a move what is truly best for this child right now?
- Have I exhausted available resources and followed through on suggested strategies?
- Have I given the situation enough time?
- Would a few days of respite give me the space and perspective I need?
- Is there training or skill-building that could help me feel more equipped?
- Have I shared my concerns with my licensing worker or other professionals who can help?
- Am I confident this is the right decision—or do I still have doubts?
That is not to say that making the decision to change placement is never the right choice. There are painful, heartbreaking situations where it is emotionally challenging but necessary—usually when safety is a genuine concern, or when a child needs a higher level of therapeutic or specialized care. In those moments, a caregiver can often remain a meaningful source of support to the child even as they receive the help they need.
If your family is working through the grief of a child moving, or you’re looking for resources and support to keep a placement stable, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Our Resource Specialists are here to offer support, connect you to resources, and listen. Call us at (414) 475-1246 or email info@coalitionforcyf.org.