Helping Kids Connect with Peers

You may have seen the viral video of a little girl waiting in her driveway as another girl barrels down the sidewalk on her pink bike. The first girl yells, “I wanna be your friend!” The biker shouts, “Okay!” And off they go.

If only it were that easy for all kids.

The video strikes a chord with parents or caregivers helplessly watching a child struggle to make connections. We can’t make friends for them, but there are ways we can help:

  • Provide a safe, non-judgmental, affirming space for your child or youth to talk about why they feel they’re not making friends.
  • Model crucial social skills like initiating conversations, active listening, taking turns, resolving conflict, and being kind.
  • Get them involved in activities where your child will connect with others with shared passions (e.g., a dance group, martial arts, a school club, sports team, tabletop gaming, a theater group, or camps).
  • Empower your child to reach out to peers who are left out.
  • Arrange a low-intensity play date and observe. Identify and work on behaviors that may be a barrier to the child making/keeping friends.
  • Roleplay. Often, initiating contact is the hardest step. Rehearsing scenarios can help ease the anxiety of the initial engagement.
  • Seek professional help such as counseling or a social skills group.

It’s important to note that conventional strategies may not address the challenges of children or youth with neurodevelopmental and psychological conditions such as autism, ADHD, or social anxiety. More information is available in the Resource section below.

Resources

Learn in the Champion Classrooms

Additional Resources