“My first Mother’s Day card had an embossed bouquet of red roses printed on it, and a lovely handwritten sentiment inside. And it made me feel like a fraud. I was just a foster parent to this beautiful little girl. Meanwhile, her mom was missing out. That Mother’s Day, I took her to visit Mom at the county jail. Mom cried. I cried. To get her baby girl’s attention, Mom tapped a red Jolly Rancher against the plexiglass separating us. The little one reached out. Then she cried.”
On May 11th we celebrate Mother’s Day. It was established in 1914 through the advocacy of Anna Jarvis’ wish to honor her activist mother’s legacy.
On May 10th, we celebrate Birth Mother’s Day, recognizing mothers who have made the heartbreaking decision to make an adoption plan for a child. It was made a national holiday in 1990 through the efforts of a group of birth moms, led by Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh.
But what about the mothers who may wonder where they fit in? This may include mothers who were separated from their children due to incarceration, child welfare involvement, intergenerational trauma, lack of nurturing by their own mothers, racism, illness, substance use disorder, historical trauma, housing insecurity, poverty, or violence.
And then there are the other mothers-the foster, adoptive, kinship, like-kin, guardianship, even stepmothers-who sometimes feel they’re not as “legit.”
At the Coalition, we strive to honor and recognize motherhood in all its complexity, understanding that behind every mother’s story is a human being doing her best no matter what. This Mother’s Day, please join us in opening our hearts to all who mother – acknowledging the grief, joy, uncertainty, and fierce love that unites so many different paths of motherhood. To all those who nurture, protect, and love children, regardless of circumstance or situation, we see and celebrate you. Thank you.
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